Trip To Douglas Arizona

Recently I was asked to come to Douglas Arizona and talk about my program and the needs of Ex-offenders by Chris Dowling of Loved Ones of the Incarcerated. Chris has a weekly half hour radio show on KDAP FM in Douglas. The show is every Wednesday at 10:00 AM.  Charles Flannigan who teaches at Cochise College was there as well. Charles and I have known each other for some years, back when he headed up Arizona Correctional Industries for the Arizona Department of Corrections. He is currently involved in an automotive and electrical training program for inmates at the Douglas prison.

After the show, I was invited to set in on one of the many support groups offered by Loved Ones of the Incarcerated in that area. I was pleased and surprised by the message that was presented by Chris and others at the meeting. One message stood out in particular. Chris talked of those of us that are friends and family of the incarcerated  and are working to understand and define our roles to support and not enable their loved ones. She stated” We are sometimes haunted by the the idea that maybe if we had bought red tennis shoes instead of yellow tennis shoes for our loved ones when they were children they wouldn’t have grown up and committed crimes that led to their incarceration.” I and others in the group spoke about the need to allow the incarcerated person to do for themselves as much as they could despite the temptation to do for them. 

I was in total agreement! I have experienced thru my organization, Transitional Employment and Mentoring Services on many occasion well meaning family members e-mail requesting services when it would otherwise be possible for the ex-offender to seek help on their own. This well meaning act often ends up turning into a disaster.

I have learned from experience that if an ex-offender does not contact us directly it is a good indicator that there motivation for work is based more on their relatives’ drive than on their own. I have talked to many well meaning Mothers and Fathers who were desperate to help their loved one to get a job but did not realize that it is the responsibility of the ex-offender to make these connections. If any program is to work, the ex-offender has to be motivated not the parents or spouse.

I have found that the vast majority of clients who have had their significant others make the initial contact for employment services have not showed for workshops, appointments and have not actively taken a roll in their employment. These clients do not succeed in the long run and even if employed they tend not to stay on the job.

As a result of this situation my organization has changed its policy on initial contact and will not accept a client if a relative is making e-mail contact without a follow up e-mail by the client. We welcome questions about our program by relatives of incarcerated persons but want the ex-offender involved from the beginning. We believe that for an ex-offender to be successful in the job search they must have the desire to do the foot work. This can’t happen if other are doing all of the work for them.

 Loved ones please feel free to contact us for information, but let your ex-offender loved one do the work or you will be doing more harm than good. Remember that those who seek help for themselves are most likely to succeed.

Steve Temple GCDF